Renee Gittins is no stranger to struggle, she’s been fighting her whole life as a girl gamer, a female engineer, and now a female indie developer. Renee can now add to her list of accomplishments female TV star. Fusion brings her struggles to life as she wrestles with a male dominated world of game developers to get her game Potions: A Curious Tale into PAX Prime, to show it to the world. Follow Renee on her journey, and watch from her perspective as she tells her story this week on My Selfie Life (Fullscreen account required to view, but a free trial is available, episode will also air on Fusion TV later this summer).
One of the most difficult things faced by Renee on any given day is how much the world of game development is seen as a man’s world. Renee has always faced discrimination, as a major player of online MMO’s she has often written about how attitudes change when other gamers find out she is female. Now a bit of that struggle will be shown to the world thanks to Fullscreen. Follow Renee as she talks about how her upbringing has helped her to overcome obstacles, how being self taught affects her work, and her day to day rush to get her game to PAX!
Q: Renee What is it like to have your whole life put out there on TV? Something like a million people will see this video which contains details of your personal life do you fear it will effect your future or your safety?
It was pretty intimidating, actually. I was scared of giving people ammo for harassing me or saying I am somehow unqualified due to what they would see.
Yes, I think it’s a deep, personal look into my life that’s going to be getting a lot of attention. The more attention it receives, the more trolling I will have to deal with. I’m actually a bit scared about it, because I expose a lot of personal self-doubts in it. While I’ve talked about them in the past, I feel like it’s different seeing me break down in front of a camera. I never want to have to experience the harassment that some women in the industry have, with people sending them pictures of their front doors and calling the workplaces of their friends and family members to start trouble. I always want to feel safe in my own home.
It’s hard to say. I really, really want to be successful, but I know that 45% of funding in 40 hours is going to be a really hard task. Still, with over 700 backers, it helps to know that there is interest and support out there. I tend to expect a lot out of myself and would probably take unsuccessful funding pretty harshly at first, but I know that I’ve come such a far way that there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
I’ve cried a number of times over the last month, I’ve really even barely slept for most of it. I’m putting myself and my game out there, not only for people to judge, but for them to support. Without their support, I lose my dream, and that’s really, really scary. Potions: A Curious Tale is so much a part of me, even more the longer I work on it. It is part of my soul and I’ve put thousands of hours into its development, it’s really a part of me at this point. Yet, even though I’m scared, I know how to push forward, even if it’ll be through tear-blurred eyes.