Today we’re going to give away three copies of Crusader Kings 2, the grand strategy game that focuses as much on family drama as it does on conquest, managing vassals, and painting the map your [county, duchy, kingdom,Empire]’s color. The codes, provided by Paradox interactive, will be posted either on our twitter, in our articles, or on our steam group. This comes on top of whatever we’re giving out on Facebook today. Read on for instructions on how to activate the code on Steam and a brief After Action Report of my latest game of Crusader Kings 2.

How to activate a key on Steam

  1. Launch Steam and log into your Steam account.
  2. Click the Games Menu.
  3. Choose Activate a Product on Steam…
  4. Follow the onscreen instructions to complete the process.

A (not so) Brief History of my latest game of Crusader Kings 2

I was playing Crusader Kings 2 as a Russian duke with an unpronounceable name. My main ambition was to unify the Russian lands under his control. The only thing standing in the way were pagans (who were easily crushed) and my own family which ruled most of the Russian lands. The would be Tsar would inherent the realms of his brothers and sons if enough people died. He attempted this, first with intrigue. He initiated plots to murder his own son and grandson. Enough people were bribed to go along with this, and the plots were successful. Unfortunately, another attempt to do this to his brother failed, and the King was forced to take the rest of the lands that were his birthright by employing assassins or using his claims to justify war against his kinsmen.

With most of his family now dead, the newly crowned Tsar of the Rus gave control of the Russian duchies to his remaining son (and various nonthreatening vassals). However, somewhere around that time the King gained the lustful trait. Perhaps it was the presence of all those fertile young debutantes cavorting about his court. Regardless, of the reason, he spent less and less time with his 46 year old wife, and more time darkening the doorways of courtesans.

He really couldn’t help himself, and I had no no control over his actions when the lust took hold. In fact, shortly after the wedding of his only legitimate son, the King sired a bastard child with his new daughter in law. Understandably, the son was upset about this.

In an attempt to smooth things over, the I invited my vassals to come to court for a great feast. Even though no expense was spared in terms of food and entertainment,  the event turned into a disaster. First, a series of drunken disputes turned into duels that killed some of his vassals. By the end of the feast, guests were denouncing the food, getting so drunk that they vomited all over the floor, and, more ominously, killing servant girls for spilling their drinks. Three separate incidents of killing serving girls was scandalous, and I decided to punish the guilty. This was seen as evidence of the King’s tyranny by most of my vassals, who agreed that a couple of dead serving girls wasn’t a big deal.

The feast didn’t work in terms of patching things up with the King’s son. He quickly declared independence and went to war against me. This put me in a perilous position because I was already engaged in a war to subjugate the pagan Pechenegs to the south. Foreseeing that I may need to kill my legitimate heir, I quickly legitimized the King’s bastard children. Then my spymaster uncovered a plot by the Queen to kill one of the recently legitimized bastards. She was quickly imprisoned and executed. I had long wanted to replace her with a fertile young bride, but the Orthodox church would never grant me a divorce. Thus, this seemed like a good pretext to get rid of her.

However, the dukes would not accept that and soon declared war on me for my “tyranny.” Despite being beset by enemies everywhere, I was making some headway against all enemies with the use of German mercenaries. However, more insidious means were used to defeat me. The first Tsar of the Rus died “green and bloated like a toad,” killed by unknown assassins. The Kingdom of the Rus, built by blood, was destroyed by blood. It only lasted 20 years. And all of this tragedy was rooted in my king’s inability to control his lust.